Ah, the joys of being an uncle are too many to count. Usually, my uncleship coincides with my Godfather duties - seeing as how my nephew and niece are also my Godchildren. Confusing? It shouldn't be.
Anyway, one of the joys of being an uncle is being called upon at Christmas time. Not to give gifts, but to put gifts together! Yes, it happened. Yesterday, I went to put together a toy for my niece. I think it was called Look, Listen, and SMILE. Putting the thing together wasn't that hard. A screw here, a bracket there and you are in the game... ..or so you think. Thsi keyboard actually fits over a computer keyboard. That was the hard part because it has to be aligned just right in order for the right buttons to be pressed.
And if gym music wasn't bad enough, try listening to Fisher Price's Greatest Hits. Oh yeah, you will groove to the monotony of "Itsy Bitsy Spider". Thrill to the toy piano key melodies of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". Now if you wanna hear a real song, check out Cephus and Reese Mayweather's classic "Twinkle Tiwnkle Little Star-ah" from their multi-platinum late-80's album "We Tight".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=el4iWQcQdN8
Anyway, after annoyed to hell and back by some cute little puppy with a patchwork face and a yellow rabbit, I finally get the thing on right. Next, it's off to my nephew's room where he has a new video game for kids. I started off missing half of the instructions and trying to figure out how to connect the keyboard to the V Tech base. Lo and behold, the thing was wireless..
Now that we have hat out of the way, have to find batteries. We find four only to findout we need four more. Sheesh. I need hazard pay!!! But I love those kids. They are my twins and twice a handful. Nothing like me as a child. I was an angel (can't you see my halo?).
Laterz, peoples....
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Cerebral warfare with Grandpa Fro-Man
The setting: Fitness Plus in Milledgeville, GA - a workout facilty.
On this day, I work out chest and abs. My chest routine is through and now it is time to concentrate on my ab region. Exercises include weighted crunches (150 lbs, 4 sets of 25-30 reps) and hanging leg raises (4 sets of 15 reps. Upon helping a friend get in shape, I discovered a machine I had seen in passing but never tried to workout on: the torso rotation machine. This weighted wonder works the obliques and stuff. Part of the reason I have never used the machine is a new face in the gym who has become somewhat of a nemesis of mine - the enigmatic Grandpa Fro-Man (duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhn!!!!)!
Ah, yes, Fro-Man. A 60-something year old, grey-haired, tattooed, overweight gym inhabitant recognized by his shagy fro, handlebar mustache, and Elvis Presley sideburns. Fro-Man has the abitilty to spend thirty minutes using gym equipment.
28 of those minutes see him using it as a propping device.
His favorite device: THE TORSO TWISTER (DUH DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHN!!!!).
On this day, Fro-Man is resting on the crunch machine. But don't be fooled! His eyes squarely examine the torso twister. Methinks he will not hesitate to take the two and a half steps required to prop on the machine when he is done doing whatever the hell he is doing. Meanwhile, I am hammering away to my last set of leg raises at the station that sits approximately five steps from the machine.
So begins the game of chess...
I wonder if I can make a quick break for the torso twister (DUH DUH DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHN!!!!) before the Fro-Meister does. The distance he has to travel is much shorter than mine. Plus, Fro-Man is easily at least 30 years and 100 pounds my senior. So I wonder if I can make it to the machine before he can actually make a move to get to it. Fro-Man anticipates my move to the machine and tries to eye me down. However, i shall not be intimidated.
I leap from the raises station and make a break for machine. Three steps in Fro-Man has yet to challenge my forward movement. The fourth step is taken. I can almost feel three foam grip handles in my grasp. I see all of the desire melt from Fro-Man, who will continue to be "confined" to the crunch machine as my fifth step finds me at the machine. I adjust the seat and begin to try and sculpt a six-pack while Fro-Man's keg of a stomach hide his feet and the floor beneath them.
Even after the battle, I wish Fro-Man the best in his endeavors for a better body. However, victory would be claimed by a 210-pound pro wrestler sans pimp suit.
I so silly :-D
On this day, I work out chest and abs. My chest routine is through and now it is time to concentrate on my ab region. Exercises include weighted crunches (150 lbs, 4 sets of 25-30 reps) and hanging leg raises (4 sets of 15 reps. Upon helping a friend get in shape, I discovered a machine I had seen in passing but never tried to workout on: the torso rotation machine. This weighted wonder works the obliques and stuff. Part of the reason I have never used the machine is a new face in the gym who has become somewhat of a nemesis of mine - the enigmatic Grandpa Fro-Man (duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhn!!!!)!
Ah, yes, Fro-Man. A 60-something year old, grey-haired, tattooed, overweight gym inhabitant recognized by his shagy fro, handlebar mustache, and Elvis Presley sideburns. Fro-Man has the abitilty to spend thirty minutes using gym equipment.
28 of those minutes see him using it as a propping device.
His favorite device: THE TORSO TWISTER (DUH DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHN!!!!).
On this day, Fro-Man is resting on the crunch machine. But don't be fooled! His eyes squarely examine the torso twister. Methinks he will not hesitate to take the two and a half steps required to prop on the machine when he is done doing whatever the hell he is doing. Meanwhile, I am hammering away to my last set of leg raises at the station that sits approximately five steps from the machine.
So begins the game of chess...
I wonder if I can make a quick break for the torso twister (DUH DUH DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHN!!!!) before the Fro-Meister does. The distance he has to travel is much shorter than mine. Plus, Fro-Man is easily at least 30 years and 100 pounds my senior. So I wonder if I can make it to the machine before he can actually make a move to get to it. Fro-Man anticipates my move to the machine and tries to eye me down. However, i shall not be intimidated.
I leap from the raises station and make a break for machine. Three steps in Fro-Man has yet to challenge my forward movement. The fourth step is taken. I can almost feel three foam grip handles in my grasp. I see all of the desire melt from Fro-Man, who will continue to be "confined" to the crunch machine as my fifth step finds me at the machine. I adjust the seat and begin to try and sculpt a six-pack while Fro-Man's keg of a stomach hide his feet and the floor beneath them.
Even after the battle, I wish Fro-Man the best in his endeavors for a better body. However, victory would be claimed by a 210-pound pro wrestler sans pimp suit.
I so silly :-D
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Reflections
As I prepare to enter another year of competing in the squared circle, I sit back and thing about the wrestlers who I trained with, came up with, or knew from the beginning of my carrer and where they are now. Who are they?
Cowboy - I remember Cowboy being wild as two hells. Stiff and green as can be. But, hey, we were all green then. Since then, public opinion of him is quite mixed. Some cite his attitude. Others point to him missing shows for a variety of reasons. In the end, he's my boy. I hope he does some damage control to his rep next year.
Luther Stone/Damien - I remember getting an email from Larry when he wanted to train to become a wrestler. He almost burned all bridges with the GIWA in the beginning of his career with a couple of silly decisions. Despite a few injuries, he kept wrestling. Recently, it seems as if he has disappeared from the face of the Earth. Don't know where he is but he needs to holler at his homie sometime soon!!!
Loco Motive - I have known Loco every since his Mom (Bless you, Lynn) would bring him to the shows in his early teens. Mullet and all!!! LOL. Since then, he has started a carer in wrestling that has been questionable at best. OK, it has been a failure. I'm not he best wrestler in the world, but Chris needs a reality check. He is my boy. But for him, dressing the part of a wrestler is enough. Training to him is foreign. I wish he wasn't so damn lazy. I wish him the best, but I wish him three doses of humilty and a keg of honesty with a dash of motivation before any of that.
Dan Ivey - He was a cool dude who hit people too hard. Quick way to kill a career.
Osborne - I don't know where he is.
Sean Logan - I actually talked to Logan about coming back to wrestling. Don't know where the original "SuperPimp" is, but I wish him well.
The In Crowd - Eric Steel will gladly take your order at Applebees in Milledgeville. As far as Jason Stone goes, he is probably somewhere with Sean.
Chris Giles - My tag partner in Adrenaline Rush had to hang it up after a neck injury kept coming back. I still see Chris in the gym. The guy was Rob Van Dam's twin from another mother. I hope he has fun reading my copy of Bret Hart's book.
New videos should be on the site soon. Much love to my cameraperson. Kisses and hugs and a bunch of other cuddly stuff
Cowboy - I remember Cowboy being wild as two hells. Stiff and green as can be. But, hey, we were all green then. Since then, public opinion of him is quite mixed. Some cite his attitude. Others point to him missing shows for a variety of reasons. In the end, he's my boy. I hope he does some damage control to his rep next year.
Luther Stone/Damien - I remember getting an email from Larry when he wanted to train to become a wrestler. He almost burned all bridges with the GIWA in the beginning of his career with a couple of silly decisions. Despite a few injuries, he kept wrestling. Recently, it seems as if he has disappeared from the face of the Earth. Don't know where he is but he needs to holler at his homie sometime soon!!!
Loco Motive - I have known Loco every since his Mom (Bless you, Lynn) would bring him to the shows in his early teens. Mullet and all!!! LOL. Since then, he has started a carer in wrestling that has been questionable at best. OK, it has been a failure. I'm not he best wrestler in the world, but Chris needs a reality check. He is my boy. But for him, dressing the part of a wrestler is enough. Training to him is foreign. I wish he wasn't so damn lazy. I wish him the best, but I wish him three doses of humilty and a keg of honesty with a dash of motivation before any of that.
Dan Ivey - He was a cool dude who hit people too hard. Quick way to kill a career.
Osborne - I don't know where he is.
Sean Logan - I actually talked to Logan about coming back to wrestling. Don't know where the original "SuperPimp" is, but I wish him well.
The In Crowd - Eric Steel will gladly take your order at Applebees in Milledgeville. As far as Jason Stone goes, he is probably somewhere with Sean.
Chris Giles - My tag partner in Adrenaline Rush had to hang it up after a neck injury kept coming back. I still see Chris in the gym. The guy was Rob Van Dam's twin from another mother. I hope he has fun reading my copy of Bret Hart's book.
New videos should be on the site soon. Much love to my cameraperson. Kisses and hugs and a bunch of other cuddly stuff
Monday, December 15, 2008
Hardy Wins!! Hardy Wins!!!
So I wake up this morning to the news that Jeff Hardy overcame both Edge and Triple H to win the WWE title for the first time in his career. I can't knock that at all. It seemed like Jeff spent all year chasing former champions Randy Orton and HHH. Its a cool deal because a lot of people think that Hardy should have been champion earlier in the year. The Rainbow Warrior is the title holder. That is the good news.
The bad news is Jeff's history. I hope Jeff's personal demons don't get the best of him again. We don't need another champion pulled over on the side of the road for possession of drugs (RVD!! RVD!! RVD!!). Here to hoping that Hardy has finally grown up.
This past weekend, I wrestled Rick Michaels - a former star in NWA Wildside (the precursor to Anarchy). It wasn't a bad match at all. I eventually went over on Rick and retained the GIWA title. So ends my 2008. And what is the deal with me and Firewalker? I'm not saying....
So what's next up for 2009? I have been in talks with several promotions in and outside of Georgia. Hopefully, I can make a big splash next year.
The bad news is Jeff's history. I hope Jeff's personal demons don't get the best of him again. We don't need another champion pulled over on the side of the road for possession of drugs (RVD!! RVD!! RVD!!). Here to hoping that Hardy has finally grown up.
This past weekend, I wrestled Rick Michaels - a former star in NWA Wildside (the precursor to Anarchy). It wasn't a bad match at all. I eventually went over on Rick and retained the GIWA title. So ends my 2008. And what is the deal with me and Firewalker? I'm not saying....
So what's next up for 2009? I have been in talks with several promotions in and outside of Georgia. Hopefully, I can make a big splash next year.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Velvet's philosophical nugget of joy
I was reading FIGHT! Magazine the other day and saw an interview with Frank Mir. Everyone wonders why he doesn't smile a whole lot. That dude is rather cerebral. One of the things he talks about is the abyss (not the wrestler). I don't know the exact definition of an abyss, but it is something like a chasm or a bottomless pit.
Anyway, he relates each person to an abyss. He also states how a person must dig deep within themselves to pull out what the truly desire. His desire - of course - is to be the best fighter there is. But it got me thinking.....
Every wonder why certain wrestlers will never be more than out of shape windbags? It is because they won't stare into the abyss. Peep what I'm saying. When you look deep inside of yourself (well), you may find things that you may like (alright) and things that you don't want to see (ok, now.). In order for you to make that change-ah, you must be willing-ah to accept.... (pause) ... ....that which you don't want to.
Can I get witness up in here? (PREACH ON PREACHER!!!)
You have to look into the abyss-ah and puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull out the person you know you can become-ah. You have got to get past-ah your faults-ah and shortcomings-ah and be honest with yourself-ah. Y'all don't hear meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... (go 'head, Pastor!!)
Then and only then will you be able... ...let the chuuch say able (ABLE!!!) to be all that you can be-ah. You must move past all the bad-ah that you are to move toward the good you can become-ah!!! Let the chuuch say amen (AMEN!!!).
(SPEAKING IN TOUNGES): dlfdslkfdsjlvjotovjlg fsrjkejiwer asdnxzcnefoivj fkdhfsittuj sdfjdsi efiffkdskdst m fjweqrjo jdor osfldlgergojv grelverolrf asdfgjiou dst ajdsjsdf;weq assk ff aew afh ahsdajfalsd Eric Cartman!!!!!!!
The doors of the chuuch are now open. On your way up, please make your quad-weekly offering to the chuuch's BUILDING FUND. Please come forward while the blood is running warm. Choir, pleaase bless us with a good comforting song.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8dbqIGmhjA
That was lovely, so lovely. Amen, amen...
Anyway, he relates each person to an abyss. He also states how a person must dig deep within themselves to pull out what the truly desire. His desire - of course - is to be the best fighter there is. But it got me thinking.....
Every wonder why certain wrestlers will never be more than out of shape windbags? It is because they won't stare into the abyss. Peep what I'm saying. When you look deep inside of yourself (well), you may find things that you may like (alright) and things that you don't want to see (ok, now.). In order for you to make that change-ah, you must be willing-ah to accept.... (pause) ... ....that which you don't want to.
Can I get witness up in here? (PREACH ON PREACHER!!!)
You have to look into the abyss-ah and puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull out the person you know you can become-ah. You have got to get past-ah your faults-ah and shortcomings-ah and be honest with yourself-ah. Y'all don't hear meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... (go 'head, Pastor!!)
Then and only then will you be able... ...let the chuuch say able (ABLE!!!) to be all that you can be-ah. You must move past all the bad-ah that you are to move toward the good you can become-ah!!! Let the chuuch say amen (AMEN!!!).
(SPEAKING IN TOUNGES): dlfdslkfdsjlvjotovjlg fsrjkejiwer asdnxzcnefoivj fkdhfsittuj sdfjdsi efiffkdskdst m fjweqrjo jdor osfldlgergojv grelverolrf asdfgjiou dst ajdsjsdf;weq assk ff aew afh ahsdajfalsd Eric Cartman!!!!!!!
The doors of the chuuch are now open. On your way up, please make your quad-weekly offering to the chuuch's BUILDING FUND. Please come forward while the blood is running warm. Choir, pleaase bless us with a good comforting song.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8dbqIGmhjA
That was lovely, so lovely. Amen, amen...
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Stuff
Quick question: why is everyone spending so much time on the Plaxico Burress case? Don't get me wrong: the Giants are my team. Here's an idea. If you are an athlete worth millions upon millions of dollars, don't put yourself in situations where you have to carry a gun for protection.
The Latin Quarter?! That's like a Klansman walking into a Black Panther meeting - something is bound to pop off.
Saxby Chambliss won his Senate seat. That sucks.
Does wrestling four years mean that you are beyond training? Not in my eyes. Others view as an insult. Go figure.
Oh yeah, I wrestled Kodiak and lost. Power bombs will do that to you. Seriously, I love Rampage Pro. They have built a strong fan base there. Those fans are hot!!!
Every show I have done in the past month has people asking me the same question about Loco Motive: "How in the hell can you get worse in three years?".
The Latin Quarter?! That's like a Klansman walking into a Black Panther meeting - something is bound to pop off.
Saxby Chambliss won his Senate seat. That sucks.
Does wrestling four years mean that you are beyond training? Not in my eyes. Others view as an insult. Go figure.
Oh yeah, I wrestled Kodiak and lost. Power bombs will do that to you. Seriously, I love Rampage Pro. They have built a strong fan base there. Those fans are hot!!!
Every show I have done in the past month has people asking me the same question about Loco Motive: "How in the hell can you get worse in three years?".
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